They say that the people that come into our lives are placed there strategically to teach us more about ourselves. That what we despise in others only grows stronger within. And instead of looking within, we look without to see who we can blame for our demise, who we can demonise.
In a sudden flash of insight it suddenly became clear to me that what I despise in you feeds the beast in me. You lack of appreciation towards the people who unselfishly work on your behalf, your inability to give praise, encouragement and validation, your nit-picking, your lack of trust in people's motivations, your constant need to blame and point fingers at the people you hold responsible for your successes and failures- your inhumanity.
I recognise the beast within you because it lives inside of me too. You hurt because your hurting, because you've been hurt. This anger spreads out like a fan affecting all the people in your life, pushing them away, leaving you alone. Do you know how many people I have hurt, how may I have pushed away because I don't trust, don't want to believe that they want to do something nice for me, something good for me because they want to be a part of my life, they want to know who I am, because they see something good? Sometimes it feels like everything I touch is poison, because I am poison and I haven't learnt to let go.
How many lies will we hold on to for the sake of shielding ourselves, protecting ourselves from what we think is the unavoidable. What happens? Who do we become when we let go?
Why is it so hard to take responsibility?
Why is it so hard to let go?