Friday, April 30, 2010

Into You

There is a feeling beneath the sadness
Behind the restlessness
The heart no longer frantic finds a steady rhythm in it's glass-like chamber
And sets a new pace.
Silence trembles that translucent barrier that separates
You from me.

To lift my weighted thoughts I attach them to birds wings and watch them soar high above me,
Higher than I ever could reach.

There is a place inside where things grow,
Try to grasp them too tightly and they'll slip from your hold.
Everything slips or
melts or
breaks or
fades away.
Everything sweet turns sour
Except for you,
Except for you.
You see me
And I
Melt into you.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Is This A Life?

I grow tired of this endless journey
Remembering
Forgetting what it was I was searching for
Struggling to inhale
Drink up your golden suns strewn wildly across waves of soft green
Feel you thrumming
Tuning myself to your breath
Rubbing the sorrow from my eyes
Emptiness
Feeling always left behind-

Is this a life,
Me losing
Sensation
Hopes dreams Love for anything
Existing only
Always
Hoping to find
You
Waiting to feel
You
Wanting to breathe
You
Feeling instead
Abandoned
Alone
Discarded
Abused?

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

What Matters Most

I’m in love with your sleeping form,

The way your male perfection leans itself towards me

Sometimes reaching

Sometimes turning away.

You always want,

And it’s more than I can give

And it’s always now, on your terms

Later isn’t a part of your vocabulary.

I say it quietly

I scream at the top of my lungs

I’m losing any understanding

I lash out and I’m sorry

But you don’t listen,

You can’t even hear me.

You leave

For days

For weeks

For months

It’s taken some time but I’ve grown accustomed to sleeping alone;

There’s always someone else that can meet your needs better than I ever could.

Now you’re here,

And I guess that’s what matters most.

You find your way back to me in your own time,

It doesn’t make me love you any less.

I don’t know what it is some nights that makes you wanna stay

Here

With me.

I watch you intently every time you sigh and shift,

Wondering what I will do this time to make you leave.

Here I am treading water

Keeping these aftershocks of emotions in check

Trying to meet the terms and conditions

Of a love that is as often withheld as it is freely given.