Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Fullness of You

I don't have the words today to measure the fullness
To describe the heaviness that suffocated
The anxiousness that fluttered frantically
The sadness that blurred my senses so that You remained always so far
So far from my grasp.

I don't know what You whispered to me while I slept,
What gave me the strength to burrow through the weight of all that
I should be
Could be
Would be
if I had the common sense to try.

But being inside of you,
I was emptied of the multitude of questions that threaten to bury me in my grief, disappointment and anger.
Being inside of you,
I was emptied of ambition and longing, and that eternal quest of seeking seeking seeking
Something out there,
Something beyond my reach.
I am here,
You are too.

Being inside of you,
I found instead the miracle of laughter curling in the back of my throat
Bubbling and effervescent in my chest
And I call it a miracle because nothing has changed
No solution has been found.
I haven't become all that I want to be.

So today is a miracle
I choose Joy over truth,
Laughter over the unanswered question,
Dancing over the constant debate over who is right and who is wrong.
I don't have any answers and I don't know what tomorrow will bring.
I have found my path,
and the path, the way
It's in the fullness of you.